If you ever find yourself full of doubt, worry and feeling like you’re just not confident in yourself, you’re not alone. Many people constantly worry about either their appearance, how they’re perceived by others, the way they enter a room and a ton of other things included in this endless cycle of self doubt. It is understandable and I have been there trust me, but it shouldn’t be the norm. Not feeling confident has a tremendous impact on your life in every way. The same way feeling on top of the world also has that massive impact on your life, but this time it is for the better.
Don’t we all deserve to feel on top of the world?
I want to help you get super confident, you deserve to be. There is no better feeling than realising you are overcoming your fears, your doubt and your worries about yourself and yourself in relation to the world and oh how you will shine from the inside out. Improving self confidence can take time and is not an overnight transformation but step by step I know you will see massive improvements in every aspect of your life once you start working on it.
The way you view yourself is often significantly lower than how others perceive you. So if you are someone who worries about other people’s perception of you, take a deep breath and remember that they will see you as an amazing person even if you can’t quite come to terms with that yourself yet. (and if you already think you’re a badass well babe others will think you are better than Beyonce, you get me?)
One of the most eye-opening examples of that is the Dove Real Beauty Sketches experiment aimed to change the way we see ourselves. If you’re not familiar with it, a forensic artist sketched each woman involved twice: once from their self-descriptions, and once from a stranger’s description (watch the video here – seriously, it’s worth the 3 minutes). The difference in the sketches was shocking; we are so good at diminishing ourselves and this is something we should all keep in mind when we have those days of thinking the worst about ourselves. Like Dove says, “You’re more beautiful than you think” – remember that.
It’s not always that easy to overcome but if you are reading this you are already on the right track.
Oh yes here we go again with this basic advice, I am tired of hearing about it too. Everyone and their grandma will tell you to fake it ’til you make it and gain more confident by doing so. What this means is, if you act confident and secure about yourself, you will eventually really feel that way. The acting as if will start to feel more natural and will eventually become your natural thoughts, because you have been repeating them over and over. The way a lot of things will get easier by practise, the same goes for your self confidence, practise feeling confident and you will soon feel a shift.
Though it is eye-rolling advice now, it is still very effective trust me. (I have tried and tested and it works wonders.)
I know, I know, when you’re feeling not-so-great about yourself, it’s not so easy to just convince yourself you look amazing. While it is easier said than done, please, just try it. Swap those negative thoughts out for positive ones. It might feel strange at first but repetition is key here. Allow yourself to say unlimited nice things about yourself. Society has taught us not to say that we are amazing and to instantly list all the flaws we have but I’m telling you now to completely fall in love with yourself. Tell your mind over and over again what you want to love about you even if you don’t believe it at first and watch the magic happen.
Remember that scene in the Holiday? Where the kind older man told Kate Winslet to act like a leading lady of the movie instead of the friend? That advice is golden. You are the star of your show so let’s start acting like it. Remember you are the most important person in your life, you are absolutely incredible and there would be no movie without you. Remind yourself of how important and amazing you are every single day as soon as you wake up and go through your day like the leading lady you are.
A good way to realise how remarkable you are is to look at how far you’ve come. Looking back and seeing that you can do it because you’ve done it before is a great motivator. If you keep telling yourself you can’t do it, chances are, you won’t do it. If you feel social anxiety and your lack of confidence is telling you that you can’t handle the stress and fear of going to that event. You’re more likely to cancel it by continually telling yourself you can’t do it.
So, instead, make your past achievements into positive affirmations – “I can, I have, and I will”. I can go to this event, because I’ve been to others before, and I will go to this one. Remind yourself of how much you enjoyed previous events and you’ll be more likely to look forward to your next one, regardless of how nervous you are.
How confident you feel can change daily, or even instantly in some cases, and boosting it can be a difficult task. When you’re feeling low, try considering these tips, and hopefully, you’ll find yourself emerging to a place full of self-confidence.
I have made it my mission to help you combine your biz strengths and create a strong, badass brand online, ready?